THE KEEPERS OF THE CRUX
"You either have to dig very deep or you don't".
Kathy Karlo
THE KEEPERS OF THE CRUX
The Art of Bouldering with Friends
Behold, we are the Keepers of the Crux, a motley crew of misfits united by a common cause: To champion the Inalienable Principles of the Art of Bouldering with Friends.Trust me, we take this stuff seriously.
The Rules
We bear the honored mantle of Keepers of the Crux, sworn guardians of the sacred scroll that holds the Rules of bouldering, etched in ink and tradition. This charge is no trifling matter; the weight of upholding, defending, and living by these tenets rests upon our shoulders like the heaviest of packs upon a winter march.These Rules do not lie at the end of the Path to Mastery, waiting as a distant prize. Nay, they stand at the very beginning, sentinels of discipline, courage, and cunning. To follow them is to engage in an endless duel, balancing strength with subtlety, power with precision.As Keepers, our journey along the Path is a ceaseless ascent. Each move, each hold, each flicker of chalked fingers is a negotiation with the principles we guard. To honor them is to climb not only the walls, but also the heights of one’s own potential.Credit to velominati.com — for inspiration, for wisdom, and for the laughter along the way.
0. Of Courtesy
At all hours, in triumph and in fall, thou shalt show respect. Even to thine enemies. Especially to thy climbing partners.1. Of Obedience
The Laws are not suggestions. They are writ in stone and chalk.2. Of Example
Lead as a lord would lead. To aid another in breaking these sacred edicts, whilst knowing them, is treachery most foul.3. Of the Unenlightened
Guide those yet blind to the Way. No honeyed words nor clever reasoning shall justify the breaking of the Laws.4. Of the Holy Shoes
It is about the shoes. It has always been about the shoes. Any who deny this truth reveal themselves as common gumbies.5. Of Hardening the Spirit
Steel thyself. The Wall does not care for softness.6. Of the French Start
The French Start is forbidden. Should the beginning truly be cursed beyond reason, a council of three shall judge whether the start is vile — or the climber weak.First Amendment — The @kizza_kommandment
The French Start is forbidden. Full stop. No parley.7. Of Early Arrivals
To be first through the gates is noble. To lurk an hour before dawn is the act of a restless madman.8. Of the Warmup
Thou shalt warm thy body before battle. Feigned rituals with bands of rubber are tolerated.9. Of the Sacred Chalk
Chalk is sorcery. False chalk shall bear warning, lest it bring shame upon the bucket.10. Of Attire
Shorts and sleeveless raiment are reserved for those of strength (V6 and above), the young of limb, or the steepest of walls.11. Of Board & Overhang
Woody and Roofy must be faced once per week — but never thrice. Moderation is wisdom.12. Of Resoling
Resole wisely, and resist gaudy temptations of colored trickery.13. Of Children and Their Guardians
On the weekend morn, between the tenth and twelfth hour, thou shalt withhold thy curses from younglings and their keepers. On weekdays… the gods look the other way.14. Of Cursing in General
Thou may curse the setters and scorn the holds — but only amidst a host. Alone, thou representest the Realm.15. Of Downturned Shoes
To walk in curved shoes is permitted only whilst grimacing in visible agony.16. Of Belongings (The Yard Sale Decree)
Thy gear shall occupy but a modest square upon the edge of the mat. The elders may claim leniency.17. Of Chalk and Brush
Seek leave before borrowing. The phrase “Magic Chalk Time” may serve as ritual petition.18. Of the Brusher
He who brushes holds first right of ascent.19. Of Beta-Spraying
Speak not of sequences unless asked. Demonstrate only if thou hast flashed the line.20. Of Lycra
Never.21. Of Backward Caps
Forbidden to all, save the legendary Ken Griffey Jr.22. Of Self-Respect
Speak no ill of thyself, save in the depths of a true existential winter.23. Of No-Flinch Climbing (NFC)
On certain lines thou shalt not flinch.
A flinch shall be called loudly by the No-Flinch Watch.
Resistance is futile.
High-fives are permitted, yet not to excess.24. Of Downgrading (The Nick TechNick)
A route may be lowered in honor only by secret accord of three, and never before the trembling masses.25. Of Injury
If bone be bent or limb undone, depart the mat with dignity and await the maesters. Minor wounds exempt thee not from wisdom.26. Of Rest
Hoard not the wall. Rest is sacred.
Let the formula be known:X = (moves + grade) ÷ πFor time is a circle, as are the heavens above.27. The Steph Decree
Shouting, shaking, and wild contortions are not shameful. Ego is the true enemy.28. The Pat Rule
See Rule #1.29. Of Body Parts
All limbs, joints, and noble foreheads are lawful tools in ascent.30. Of Chalk Bags
Thy chalk bag is not raiment. Remove it, unless thou art Marleigh.31. Of Breaking Beta
There is no right or wrong. Only Top… or Not.32. Of the Crash Pad
It is for falling, not for slumber.33–34. Of Odor and Warfare
Air thy shoes. Clean thyself. Chalk is not perfume.35. The Ondra Cry
No dyno shall be attempted without a mighty yell. Such is science.36. Of Dignity in Fall
Shouldst thou fall, rise as though it were planned.37. Of the Inner Guru
If the move feels absurd, thou art likely correct.38. Of Blame
When in doubt, blame the setters.39. Of Ape Index
Short arms are not a weakness, they are a conspiracy.40. Of Letting Go
If a problem scorns thee, release it. There are other wars to fight.41. Of the Holds
Strike not the holds in anger. They remember.42. Of Flashing
Flash upon the wall, not in the playground.43. Of Dabbing
If thou touchest, thou knowest. Begin again.44. Of The Single Truth
A sent is claimed by word alone.
The word of a Keeper is gold.
Witnesses and proof are welcomed — never required.45. Of Descent
Down-climb if thou must, but know it costs thee glory.
When leaping, fall with control and style.46. Of the Setters
Feed the setters, for though cruel, they shape our fate.47. Of Joy
The greatest climber in all the realms is the one who climbs with the most joy.
The Grades
Climbing Grades Explaines, aka Nick Grading System (NSG)
Climbing grades, the cryptic runes of the vertical realm, etched in number and letter, yet heavy with consequence. What appears a harmless marking upon the wall holds the power to crown thee hero… or cast thee down in humbling disgrace.These symbols are debated as fiercely as matters of succession. A 5.11b and a 5.11c may differ by but a whisper of ink, yet warriors will argue their distinction as maesters parsing forbidden texts. The passage from V5 to V6 is no mere increment, it is a campaign, a siege, a war of attrition waged upon fingertips and pride alike.And woe betide the hall when discourse turns to the subtle divide between 6a and 6a+. Entire councils have fractured upon such matters. Voices rise. Fingers point. Alliances falter.Grades are at once prophecy and provocation. They tempt the bold, mock the overconfident, and test the fragile peace between partners. For nothing cuts deeper than falling from a climb proclaimed “soft for the grade.” Such words linger longer than chalk in the air.Thus know this truth: grades are neither friend nor foe. They are riddles carved into resin and stone, numbers and letters conspiring to turn a simple ascent into a battle of the mind.
Climbing Glossary
By torchlight in the Citadel and under the watchful gaze of the Wall,
let the Tongue of the Keepers be recorded in the Great Glossary of the Crux.
Ape Index
The measure of one’s wingspan against one’s height. It declares whether thou art born a soaring condor… or cursed with the arms of a stubborn T-Rex.Barndooring
When gravity seizes thy body and swings thee from the wall like a tavern door in a storm. A dance most undignified.Beta
Sacred knowledge of the sequence. Whispered counsel that turns folly into triumph.Body Position
The noble art of contortion performed without shame. Flexibility with honor.Body Tension
The unseen force that binds feet to overhangs. A sorcery forged in the core.Bump
To move a hand from hold to hold in swift succession, as though greeting the stone twice in eager salute.Callouses
Hardened skin, the armor earned in frictional battle.Campus
To climb without the aid of feet. A reckless display of upper-body valor.Chalk
Sacred white dust. It turns sweat to strength and doubt to friction.Climbing Shoes
Rubbered slippers of suffering, tighter than a miser’s purse, forged for clinging to stone.Crimp
A grip so small it mocks the fingers. Held by will more than flesh.Crux
The trial by fire. The move that decides thy fate.Dabbing
An unlawful brushing against the forbidden. If thou touchest, thou knowest.Deadpoint
The fleeting instant where motion dies and balance reigns — before chaos resumes.Down Climbing
The honorable retreat from height, retracing one’s path with care.Dropknee
A twisting of the lower limb that would shame a maester’s anatomy scroll.Dyno
A leap of faith. A moment where gravity is challenged, and often wins.Edging
To stand upon the smallest lip of stone, trusting in rubber and resolve.Fingerboard
A cruel wooden relic upon which fingers are forged into weapons.Flag
The extension of a leg into open air, balancing pride against collapse.Flapper
A torn tribute of skin. Painful proof of dedication.Flash
To conquer on the first attempt, armed only with sight and courage.French Start
A ground-assisted heresy, long condemned by the Keepers.Gaston
To push outward from a hold like a knight bracing a heavy gate.Grades
Numbers that pretend to measure suffering.Half Crimp
The middle path between recklessness and restraint.Hand Jam
To bury one’s hand in stone and trust the crack as ally.Heel Hook
To anchor oneself with the heel, as if grappling the wall in combat.Jug
A hold so generous it feels like mercy from the gods.Kneebar
To wedge the knee in stone and rest as warriors do between blows.Layback
To pull and push in opposition — a dance as old as climbing itself.Liquid Chalk
Modern alchemy. Dries as quickly as hope fades mid-crux.Lock Off
To freeze in strength, suspended between ascent and fall.Match
Two hands united upon a single hold, as allies sworn to one cause.Mantel
To press down and rise above — the childhood gate reborn in stone.NFC (No-Flinch Climb)
An ascent without hesitation. Precision above pride.Onsight
To climb blind and triumph regardless. The purest test of instinct.Pinch
To grasp stone between fingers and thumb as if milking the last drop from fate.Problem
A puzzle of semi-synthetic polymer awaiting solution.Project
One’s personal war. A climb that refuses surrender.Reading
The silent study of holds and sequence before battle is joined.Send
To reach the summit without falling. Victory, pure and unquestioned.Sloper
A rounded betrayal of a hold, offering hope and little else.Smear
To trust rubber against blank stone, as if friction alone were faith.Spot / Spotting
To guard a falling climber, guiding their descent like a sworn shield.Traversing
To move sideways along the wall, for not all journeys rise.Undercling
A hold grasped from beneath, demanding strength and defiance.
THE KEEP
Beyond the шум of the common streets, beneath iron beams and weathered brick, stands The Keep, our fortress of stone and sweat.Known to the outer realm as Substation Brixton , it is here that the Keepers of the Crux gather beneath high rafters and harsher lights. Here, rubber meets resin. Here, chalk hangs in the air like morning mist upon a battlefield.The walls rise not as mere plywood and volumes, but as battlements. The boards are our proving grounds. The overhangs, our siege towers. Each problem set upon these sacred planes is a trial issued by unseen hands, a test of strength, cunning, and resolve.Within these walls, titles mean nothing. Grade is earned, not claimed. Beta is currency. Rest is ritual. And every send is a small victory carved into the ledger of the Realm.This is no ordinary gym.
This is where projects become quests.
Where callouses are forged like armor.
Where the uninitiated become Keepers.Welcome to The Keep!
Home of the Keepers of the Crux.Enter with respect.
Leave with glory.