Ape Index: The scientific measurement of how much longer your arms are compared to your height. Essentially, the wingspan that makes you either a human condor or a T-Rex impersonator.

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Barndooring: The unintentional interpretive dance move climbers perform when gravity decides it's time to spice things up. It's like being in a rock-and-roll band, but without the music or the coordination.

 

Beta: Advice or knowledge on how to conquer a problem – like getting the secret cheat codes for climbing, but without the cheat part.

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Body Position: The art of contortion without looking like a circus act – because in climbing, flexibility is key, but style points matter too.

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Body Tension: The Jedi mind trick climbers use to convince their feet to stick to holds on overhanging rock. Core strength and technique are the magical spells in this gravity-defying spectacle.

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Bump: Making moves with your hand like you're giving the rock an enthusiastic high-five – because why settle for one when you can go for a climbing sequel?

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Callouses: The battle scars of climbing, proudly worn patches of armor on your fingers and palms. They're like tiny medals, awarded for enduring the frictional warfare with rock surfaces.

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Campus: Climbing a route with the grace of a spider on a caffeine high – forget feet, we're here for the upper-body workout.

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Chalk: The magical dust that transforms sweaty palms into friction-friendly appendages. It's like fairy dust for climbers, minus the flying – unless you're dynoing.

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Climbing Shoes: Footwear that's tighter than your deadline schedule, covered in rubber, and specially designed for rock-hugging adventures. They're basically Cinderella's glass slipper, but for scaling walls.

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Crimp: Holding onto a tiny edge with your fingertips, a grip so small even a squirrel would hesitate – because in climbing, size doesn't matter, but technique does.

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Crux: The climber's equivalent of hitting the boss level – the part of the problem that makes you question life choices.

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Dabbing: The covert maneuver executed by a climber, often unintentionally, leading to an illicit encounter with an element not classified as part of the climb.

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Deadpoint: That magical moment when you hit a hold just right, like a ninja freezing mid-air – equilibrium, but with extra flair.

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Down Climbing: The art of gracefully retreating your way down a problem. It's like rewinding the climber's version of a blockbuster movie.

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Dropknee: When your foot has an inside edge party while the other foot is gate-crashing with an outside edge. It's the climber's version of doing the limbo but with more rock and less limbo stick.

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Dyno: The Olympic long jump of climbing – leaping from one hold to another, defying gravity and common sense.

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Edging: The delicate ballet move of standing on an edge – because climbers are basically rock ballerinas without tutus.

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Fingerboard: A board covered in tiny handholds that hang like a masochistic ornament to train fingers into becoming superheroes. They're like mini Mount Everests for your digits.

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Flag: The delicate art of sticking your leg out like you're about to participate in an interpretive dance – because balance is essential, but style is everything.

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Flapper: When your hand develops a hangnail, and you're left with a makeshift skin accessory – the price of hardcore climbing chic.

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Flash: Climbing a problem on the first try, either because you're a rock ninja or you've secretly memorized the Matrix code of the climbing gym.

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French Start: Jumping into a climbing problem from the ground, proving that in climbing, just like in French cuisine, the ground is an essential ingredient.

 

Gaston: Pushing a hold instead of pulling, named after Gaston Rébuffat, not the guy who fixed your leaky faucet – a move that's as fancy as it sounds.
 

Grades: The Yelp review for climbs – an indication of how difficult it is, assuming perfect conditions and a Sherpa guide whispering beta in your ear.

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Half Crimp: The Goldilocks grip – not too open, not too closed, just right. It's the grip that says, "I'm serious about this, but I also enjoy a good compromise."

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Hand Jam: The forgotten art of shoving your hand into a crack, because sometimes you just need to give that crack a good hand-hug.

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Heel Hook: Using your heel as a grappling hook to stay on the wall – because sometimes you need a little extra oomph.

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Jug: A hold so enormous you could host a barbecue on it – or at least throw a party as you celebrate grabbing onto that glorious jug.

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Kneebar: The rockstar move where you press your foot against the wall while your knee strikes a pose – it's basically yoga for adrenaline junkies.

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Layback: The OG move for climbers, pulling with the hands and pushing with the feet – think of it as the original climbing Pilates.

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Liquid Chalk: The high-tech solution to sweaty palms – it's chalk in liquid form, because climbers demand efficiency even in their hand-drying rituals.

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Lock Off: The static reach that makes you look like a superhero frozen mid-flight – achieving superhero status without the cape.

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Match: Placing both hands on the same hold simultaneously – because two hands are better than one.

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Mantel: That move you mastered as a kid when climbing over a wall – the gateway drug to a lifetime of bouldering addiction.

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NFC (No-Flinch Climb): Climbing a problem without flinch or hesitation on the holds to emphasis technique and precision – or the art to make something easy overly complicated.

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Onsight: Climbing a problem on the first try with no information or prior knowledge – the true test of skill and instinct.

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Pinch: Holding onto a grip like you're squishing the last bit of toothpaste from the tube – climbers: strong fingers, weak tube squeezing skills.

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Problem: A bouldering puzzle waiting to be solved – think of it as a game of rock chess, but with fewer queens and more crimps.

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Project: The Everest of bouldering – a challenge you've yet to conquer, your personal quest to become the Sherpa of the climbing gym.

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Reading: The Sherlock Holmes act of analyzing how to climb a problem, complete with a metaphorical magnifying glass and a pipe full of climbing wisdom.

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Send: Conquering a problem without the heartbreak of falling off – it's not just climbing; it's a triumphant ascent to victory.

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Sloper: A hold that's basically the rock's way of saying, "Good luck holding onto this." It's the slopey challenge that keeps climbers guessing.

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Smear: The rebellious act of using a foot as if trying to erase the rock. It's like rock graffiti but with rubber soles instead of spray paint.

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Spot/Spotting: Guiding a falling climber to the ground, because in climbing, teamwork makes the dream work – and no one likes a solo skydiving attempt.

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Traversing: Moving sideways along the wall, because not everything in life goes up – a lateral adventure for the climber who's tired of always aiming for the stars.

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Undercling: The bicep curl's time to shine – a hold that looks upside down, demanding strength, body tension, and an occasional flex for good measure.

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